Ring-a-ding-ding
by JaninaM8
Summary: AU one-shot: Jane and Loki go grocery shopping. Both have something they want to tell the other. Hijinks ensue.


This is for the Lokane Deck the Halls Exchange on Tumblr. Thank you, Imogen74 for your help!

"Please tell me you didn't rope me into a big grocery shopping trip," Loki said with a slight whine to his voice as he watched his girlfriend, Jane, pull out a cart from the long line of carts inside the grocery store.

"We just need a few things," she said.

He arched a brow at her, but said nothing. Jane ignored him. It was never really a good idea to kid a kidder, but whatever. She had barely seen him the past two weeks and though she kept telling herself that everything was fine between them, in her darkest moments she was afraid that he was gearing up to break up with her.

Since they'd both been busy with their respective careers and he'd been distant lately, Jane had corralled him into a shopping trip with her in the hopes of feeling him out a little. Grocery shopping was probably not the best way to go about it, but if she discovered that he was planning on breaking up with her then the fact that they were in public might stop her from completely losing her shit. However, when she thought of Loki telling her they were done, she imagined hurling mangos and oranges at him.

Could she blame pregnancy on the state of her mind? She really didn't know much about being pregnant at all. She was only seven weeks in according her doctor and that was yet another thing worrying her. If Loki was going to break up with her then how was she going to tell him she was pregnant? She certainly didn't want him to stay with her just because she was having his kid.

Christ. When did life get so hard?

Jane steered the cart toward the frozen aisle. They'd hit the produce section last, just in case.

xxxxxx

Jane crossed out on her list the frozen broccoli and peas when Loki came up and tossed a few things in the cart. She looked over her list to see what he'd put in there and found a box of buffalo wings, potato skins, and mozzarella sticks. She looked at him. "You hate that junk," she told him.

"Yes, but you don't," he pointed out, but didn't look at her. "I got them for you."

It would have been an even sweeter gesture had he looked at her when he said it instead of looking away from her as though he was ready to run away.

Crap on a cracker. Was this to soften the blow of breaking up with her? Shit. If he put ice cream in the cart next she was going to fucking scream.

xxxxxxx

Loki held Jane's favorite ice cream in his hand and stared at her in shock. His fingers were cold from holding the ice cream, but he could not for the life of him figure out why the hell Jane had just barked at him: "For the love of all that is holy put the ice cream back!" She loved Reese's Peanut Butter Ice Cream.

"Is there some other flavor you want?" he asked, "since this has clearly offended you?"

"No, I don't want ice cream, Loki. _God!_" She wheeled the cart away with a huff and Loki wondered what had happened to his normally level-headed girlfriend. She'd been getting a little snippy lately and very quiet. Sometimes he'd find her just watching him and he was getting nervous.

Was she thinking about breaking up with him? God, he hoped not. Just the thought of it made his heart clench in his chest. He couldn't lose Jane. She was everything to him – his entire world. He patted the inner pocket of his leather jacket where the engagement ring he'd bought her had been burning a hole. Ever since he'd gone to the jewelry store and picked out the ring – a moonstone because she didn't like diamonds and moonstones made her think of the stars and the ever elusive moon – he'd been a nervous wreck. He'd never proposed to a woman before. He'd never wanted to until he'd met Jane. He'd known after their first date that she was the woman he was going to marry.

His mother had wisely advised him to wait a long while before he asked her and now that they had been living together a few months, he figured it was time.

But if she was planning to break up with him instead how could he propose?

xxxxxx

Jane stood before shelves of food down some aisle she had ducked down while Loki was off picking out the meat for the week. She was trying collect herself. He'd picked up the ice cream. He had actually picked up the fucking ice cream.

Oh God. He was getting her ready for being dumped. He was going to make all her favorite foods and then dump her so she could binge – like you do – when you get dumped.

"Jane?"

She looked over at him. He was looking at her oddly. "What?" she asked.

"Why are you looking at dog food?"

She blinked at him and then looked at the wall of canned dog food. "I…uh…well, what do you think of getting a dog?"

He furrowed his brow. "We can't have a dog in our apartment."

"Cat?"

"You want a cat?"

"Maybe. Do you want a cat?"

He frowned. "I don't know. I've never really thought about it."

"Maybe you should think about it, because maybe things happen that you think you've planned for but then you realize you haven't planned as well as you thought. Before you know it you're having a kitten and you've got to figure out how you're going to raise it alone." She started to push the cart away and then turned and said to a bewildered Loki. "Think about that."

xxxxxx

Loki watched Jane turn the corner with the cart and thought, _Fuck_. First, he'd thought it was a good sign that she was talking about getting an animal together. Having an animal denoted that you planned to stick around. But then she started talking about raising a kitten alone…

Did she want him to get a cat in the event she left him so he wouldn't be alone?

Bloody hell.

xxxxxxx

"The holidays are coming up," Loki said casually as they strolled down the snack aisle.

"Mm."

Loki looked at Jane, slumped over the cart. "Jane, are you all right?"

She straightened and looked at him. "I'm fine." She went to the chips and grabbed Tostitos.

"Do you think we should offer to do Thanksgiving dinner for our families?" Loki asked as he took Jane's place behind the cart.

"I don't know; I'm kind of a terrible cook."

"I'm not," Loki said. "I could help. We could do it together."

She grabbed a bag of BBQ chips. Then salt n' vinegar. "It's a big commitment, don't you think? We do it once and then we might be expected to do it every year."

"We don't have to commit to any such thing if we don't want to."

"It's just that easy for you to shirk your commitments isn't it?"

His brow furrowed. "What the hell are you even talking about? We haven't even committed to doing Thanksgiving dinner once, so how am I shirking my commitments?"

She grabbed another bag and then walked over and dumped them in the cart.

Loki stared down at the four bags of chips. "Are we having a party I don't know about?"

She folded her arms across her chest. "I feel like having chips."

"But not ice cream."

"What is it with you and the ice cream, Loki?"

"I think the better question is what is it with _you_ and the ice cream?"

"You're an ice cream peddler."

He laughed. "I'm an ice cream peddler?"

Her lips twitched as though she was fighting back a smile. "Yes."

"If that's the case then I insist on an ice cream truck."

"Only if you wear one of those all white suits with a bowtie."

Loki laughed again and nodded. "Of course. Will you come with me from neighborhood to neighborhood and pedal ice cream with me?"

"Only if I can ring the bell."

Loki grinned at her lasciviously. "Oh, sweetheart, you can ring my bell any time you want."

Her eyes welled up in tears and before Loki could ask what was wrong with her, she grabbed another potato chip bag off the rack and tore into it. "I just want you to know that I will always love you," she said, her voice breaking with emotion. Then she took out a wad of chips and stuffed them in her mouth as she hurried out of the aisle.

Loki pushed the cart and went after her, weaving around people. It was getting later in the afternoon and the grocery store was starting to fill up. He managed to catch up to Jane in produce. She was munching on chips while picking up an orange. "Jane—"

She turned with a menacing look in her eye and he felt something smack him across the face, and then heard a plop on the floor. He looked down and blinked. He looked at Jane. "You threw an orange at me!"

"That's what you get for abandoning me and your unborn child!" she exclaimed and threw another one at him.

That one clipped him on the shoulder. He lunged toward her and pulled the next orange out of her hand.

"I'm going to have to ask you not to throw the produce," one of the grocers said sternly as he came up to Jane and Loki.

"We're sorry," Loki said to him. "My girlfriend seems to have lost her mind–" He whipped his head to Jane and his eyes went wide. "Did you say 'unborn child'?!"

She nodded and sniffled. She was back to sad again. She was definitely pregnant.

Pregnant.

Jane was pregnant.

"You're pregnant?" he whispered.

"Yes. I just found out yesterday. I didn't know how to tell you since you're planning to break up with me," she said and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her hoodie.

"Well, you just say 'Loki, I'm—' wait. Did you say I'm planning on breaking up with you?"

"Yes! You've been acting weird the past two weeks. All distant and quiet. Then we come here and you get all my favorite foods and get the ice cream – _ice cream_, Loki. Then you don't want a cat with me. Then you're being mean and fucking with me by suggesting we do Thanksgiving dinner. Are you not sure you want to end things?"

Loki gripped her shoulders and looked at her. "Jane, I am very sure that I do _not_ want to end things. Break up with you? No. You're the one that wants to break up with me!"

"What?!"

"You've been snippy with me lately and I thought you were avoiding me by pretending to fall asleep before I can even get in bed…"

"I've been exhausted. I _have_ been falling asleep. I hear it's a pregnancy thing."

He smiled. "Because you're pregnant."

She nodded and wiped some more snot away. "You really don't want to break up with me?"

He shook his head and dug into his pocket where the ring was. He pulled out the velvet box and Jane gasped and put her hands to her face. "Is that—?"

Loki nodded and then sank down to one knee. He opened the ring box and presented it to her. "Jane Foster, will you make me the happiest of men and marry me?"

She reached out and grabbed the ring, staring at it with tears in her eyes. "Oh, Loki…"

"I've been working up the nerve to ask you to marry me and I've been worried you'd say no. So, if I've been distant and quiet, that's why. I was trying to figure out how to make sure you'd say yes."

"All you had to do was ask," she told him softly, smiling through her tears. "I can't believe you actually thought I'd say no."

He swallowed hard. "So, yes?"

She nodded. "Yes!"

Loki practically jumped to his feet and took her in his arms, kissing her passionately. He pressed his forehead to hers and felt tears of his own wetting his eyes. "I love you, Jane Foster. More than I ever thought possible to love someone."

"And I love you," she breathed. "Put the ring on me?"

"Yes, of course." He pulled back and plucked the ring from its satin case. He slipped it onto her finger and she beamed at it and then at him.

"Moonstone," she whispered.

"Yes."

"Are you two done? I need the mangos."

Jane and Loki turned to find a frowning older woman in curlers glaring at them.

Jane picked the oranges and the potato chip bag off the floor and Loki grabbed the cart. After putting the oranges back – and pointedly ignoring the grocer who was glaring at her – Jane hurried to Loki's side and dropped the potato chips bag in the cart.

"I'm just going to get the ice cream while you're in line," she told him.

He smiled down at her. "Yes, dear."

"And then we'll need to get home quickly. There was something about bell ringing earlier that you mentioned?"

Loki grinned. "Ring-a-ding-ding."


End file.
